A couple’s journey through miscarriage and fertility treatment – Kelly and Myrone share their story
We’ve been fortunate to speak with one of our couples who have been helped by our Women’s Hospital teams through fertility treatment to achieve their pregnancy. We’re so grateful to Kelly and Myrone for sharing their powerful story and allowing us to share it.
You can listen to Kelly and Myrone talking though their experience in the YouTube video below and then read the full story including comments from our very own Fertility expert Dr Jackson Kirkman-Brown in this full article.
The family, from Birmingham, took time out to speak with us about the challenges they overcame to bring their “miracle baby”, Roelle, into the world. They also wanted to highlight the important, and sometimes taboo subjects of miscarriage and fertility treatment, in an effort to offer strength to others who find themselves in a position like theirs.
Their fertility journey began five years ago when they were referred to our Fertility Centre through their GP after trying for a family, to seek specialist support.
Myrone, 41, said: “We never had any indication we couldn’t get pregnant but you start to worry after trying for a while.
“I was given an appointment for a semen analysis at the Fertility Centre and was then later told I had a low sperm count. You feel inadequate don’t you really. Was it me? Why did I wait so long? I even told Kelly, you can leave me if you want and go and meet someone else.
“I was trying to give her an escape route. It was a horrible feeling. You don’t feel like much of a man. It’s something hard to talk about. You should be able to talk to your partner but sometimes you don’t. I thought, everything I do just doesn’t seem to be enough.”
Dr Jackson Kirkman-Brown, the Scientific Lead of Fertility at our Women’s Hospital who supported the couple during their time at the Fertility Centre said:
“One in five couples in the UK experience fertility problems when starting a family, with around half of cases being due to male infertility, so actually this is remarkably common.
“Sperm count is unrelated to being ‘a man’ and you certainly cannot tell a person’s sperm count by just looking at someone. Infertility is indiscriminate and can be the for any man.”
The couple were able to access fertility treatment through the NHS and had a treatment known as IVF with Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI, supported by our team
Kelly, 40, said: “Initially I felt excited – people who have IVF come home with a baby.”
At the time of the couple’s fertility journey, Kelly had recently joined our Women’s Hospital as a Health Care Assistant at the Fertility Centre. She was injecting fertility treatment twice daily, drawing up new medications whilst caring for others in her new role.
Whilst Kelly remained positive, Myrone grew anxious: “I didn’t think we would have a baby. I was quite worried more on my side. It just seemed very daunting and difficult to look at the positives. I kept thinking that this wasn’t going to work. I thought, are you going to get fed up with not being able to have a baby?”
After the couple’s first round of fertility treatment, they were overjoyed to learn that the treatment had been successful. Kelly had received a positive result on her pregnancy test and was ready to begin getting their home ready for the new baby.
Their elation was shattered just seven weeks into the pregnancy when they suffered a miscarriage.
She said: “We had our scan and our baby wasn’t the right size at seven weeks. We had a positive match the first time with IVF – we then had our scan and we were told that our baby had no heartbeat. 
“I remember phoning Myrone and that’s when it really kicked in. I also then realised with my team around me, I’m not just viewed as a colleague to them, I’m not just a patient, I’m a person – going through treatment. Everyone dropped what they were doing at work and came to care for me.”
Kelly explained: “It was heart-breaking. Especially when you get so excited and then you think that’s it. I remember sitting in that room and I couldn’t stop crying.
“You feel like you can’t talk about it because it feels like no one really talks about miscarriage. It can be such a taboo subject because it’s sad.”
Myrone added: “Sometimes it’s easy to get trapped in your own little bubble, thinking I’m doing enough. You have to really understand how much your partner goes through too, as well as yourself, both physically and mentally. It’s easy to go quiet. You’re more focused on your partner. You think it’s your fault – you have so many mixed emotions, you don’t want to say the wrong thing. ”
After experiencing several miscarriages they were referred to the Tommy’s National Centre for Miscarriage Research, also based at our Women’s Hospital. It was discovered that Kelly had a genetic complication called a balanced translocation. It is surprisingly common for women to miscarry and a balanced translocation means this is much more likely still.
The couple stayed strong and remained hopeful, despite the emotional and physical challenges they had already faced together.
Just as Kelly had remained positive for Myrone in the earlier stages of their fertility journey, Myrone supported Kelly by staying positive and supportive for her. He found his positivity through speaking about his experiences with a close circle of friends.
He said: “I didn’t realise but three or four of my friends had gone through it. It’s more common than you’d think. Luckily enough I had someone close in my circle who spoke to me about their experience with fertility. We got talking and it came out and it was the positivity that I needed.
“Just speaking with him allowed me to be more of a supportive partner and help me to express how I feel. That I’m not the only man going through this. Being able to talk, I think I happened to stumble across the conversation. Finding out that it’s not so taboo was amazing for me. It’s so common but society tells you it’s not.”
The diagnosis of a balanced translocation in Kelly then changed the treatment plan they were on to one known as of pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD).
In PGD the first parts of the IVF cycle are the same, but at five or six days after fertilisation, before transfer back to the womb, a few cells can be sampled and genetically tested. This remarkable technique allows the team to only put back embryos that are capable of causing a pregnancy, avoiding some of the upset of recurrent miscarriage or seriously ill children. Fortunately for Kelly and Myrone our team working in PGD is the second largest in the UK often performing four to five PGD treatments per week.
The couple’s journey continued and they received the news that an embryo was viable to be put back in through a frozen embryo transfer (FET) cycle. They subsequently received the news they had been longing for. Kelly was pregnant once again and in July 2020, baby Roelle was born.
Kelly said: “From the minute you walk through the door at the Fertility Centre, you’re greeted with a smile. Everybody there, from the admin team to the nurses and doctors, there’s so many to name. I feel like Roelle has grandparents and aunties in the fertility team, they always ask about him. The love, the care, the compassion, the bravery, all of the Trust values I’ve experienced as a patient and as a colleague.
“The Embryology team are amazing. They work behind the scenes but they deserve to be seen. The things that they do – I can’t even explain. Our son came with all of their help – he’s our miracle and this is what we’ll tell him. Every single member of staff at the Fertility Centre, we owe a life to them. They’ve created our little miracle. Thank you just isn’t enough.”
Myrone said: “They’re the best people I’ve ever met in my life. Probably some of the nicest people I’ve ever met.”
We asked this inspirational couple for their words of advice for others who have experienced a miscarriage and are currently going through fertility treatment.
They said: “Talk, talk, talk – you are not the only person going through this. Men don’t talk enough as it is. From a women’s point of view, miscarriage happens daily. The more you talk the more you’ll see that you’re not the only person going through it. We’ve stayed friends with people who have also been through fertility treatment. We all have hope. I just want to get away from this stigma that you can’t talk about miscarriage.
“As long as you’re alive and breathing - you still have hope that you will bring a baby home. Stay strong. I think mentally, everyone who is put through Fertility Treatment has the strength to do it because you know the amazing rewards. It does test you – you go in stronger, you come out stronger.
“Don’t give up, you’re strong, you’ve got this. The one thing you have is hope – it’s not the end of the journey if you want it to be.”
We’d like to say a big thank you to Kelly and Myrone (and Baby Roelle, who is now 19-months-old and growing fast) for bravely sharing their story with us.
For support and advice about miscarriage or fertility please visit our BWC support, which has information and links to help.